Friday, March 28, 2014

I Used to Care


I Used to Care

But I take a pill for that now.

Dust

Dust
It's what gives a home a warm and fuzzy feeling.

I Often Worry About the Safety of My Children


I Often Worry About the Safety of My Children

Especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me and talking back right now.

but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken



You may have a hot body, but I have a hot bucket of fried chicken so who's the real winner?

Life would be easier if we could mark people as spam


Life would be easier if we could mark people as spam.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

The Articles of Faith Help Sheet



The Articles of Faith Help Sheet

Short little rhymes for each of the thirteen Articles of Faith.

Monday, March 24, 2014

The Whole Neighborhood Gets Tomatoes


Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to garden, and the whole neighborhood gets tomatoes.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Thursday, March 20, 2014

I Have Made A Huge Mistake


I Have Made A Huge Mistake

A toddler slipping through the rails of the top bunk of a bunk bed and not being able to reach the floor.  He is stuck hanging there.

I'd Take a Bullet For You...


I'd Take a Bullet For You...

Not in the head, but like the leg or something.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

You've already said, "What?" three times


That awkward moment when:
You've already said, "What?" three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree.

Monsters Inc or Monsters University Lies


Monsters Inc. - Mike: You've been jealous of my good looks since the 4th grade pal.
Monsters U - Mike and Sully meet in college.

LIES!

We've all hidden our favorite food from our family at least once.


Admit it.  We've all hidden our favorite food from our family at least once.

Friday, March 14, 2014

NASA Successfully lands a rover on Mars. Gets defunded.


NASA Successfully lands a rover on Mars.  Gets defunded.
Apple - Can't find the nearest Starbucks.  Richest company on the planet.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Always Give 100% at Work



Always Give 100% at Work

12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5%  Friday

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Gand-Alf


Gand-Alf

A picture done up to make Alf look like Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings.

Friday, March 7, 2014

Junk

Junk

Something you keep for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

I Hate Leap Year!


I Hate Leap Year!

It's always got that extra day in it.

Two inmates sitting on their bunks in their cells.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Little Stephen King Reads His First Story in Class


Little Stephen King Reads His First Story in Class

Little first graders are running out of the room in terror.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver


Silence

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

Chewy No-Bake Nutter Butter Bars


Chewy No-Bake Nutter Butter Bars

Ingredients
One 1 pound package of Nutter Butters
5 cups Large Marshmallows
4 tablespoons butter

Directions
1. Place Nutter Butters in food processor and pulse until ground. Melt marshmallows and butter in microwave until puffed, about 1 1/2- 2 minutes. Remove and pour in ground Cookies. Stir to combine then transfer to a foil lined 8×8 inch baking pan. Let set up for 10 minutes. Remove bars out of pan with edges of foil and cut into squares.

Makes 9-16 bars

Who Needs a $200 Crib...


Who Needs a $200 Crib...

when you can buy a $20 dog bed?

A baby and a puppy in a dog bed.

It is just a matter time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.


It is just a matter time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

Whoever said, "Hard work pays off" obviously never worked for my previous employer.


Whoever said, "Hard work pays off" obviously never worked for my previous employer.

Big Brothers


Big Brothers

They think they are so funny.

One cat shoving the face of another cat into a food bowl while he is trying to eat.